it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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