There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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