i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
