Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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