You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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