Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she looked like the before picture.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
