think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
