3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
