zippers are such a cool invention
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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