mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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