can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
