Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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