No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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