so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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