no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
