I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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