Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
