i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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