Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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