perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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