wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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