Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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