Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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