I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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