Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
