Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
