So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
