Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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