our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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