that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
