but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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