who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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