some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
