Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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