There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Pants are for mortals
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
