I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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