Whod you bang
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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