Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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