My nipple is on Facebook.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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