grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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