The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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