i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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