I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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