that's an acceptable place to lick
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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