Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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