watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you would pick up someone in the library
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You're a waste of cheezeits
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
