so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
