Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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