My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
