he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
