when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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