Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
