nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
