4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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