hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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