her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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