yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
