I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
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there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.