Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now