But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?