This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.