I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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